I Am Irrationally Irked at People With Social Inhibitions

Yesterday was Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-Fil-A. Basically, you look hilarious and dress like a cow, and you can get some free food. I love everything about this.

Although not everyone agrees with me there. Sometimes the following happens:

 

 Clearly, if there is a winner in this situation, it is me.

Add some sass to your class,

Jenna

P.S. Stay tuned for some guest bloggers in the future. Apparently, I'm not the only one who gets irrationally irked.

I Am Irrationally Irked at Chili's Servers Who Do Not Know the Baby Back Ribs Song

You should know the Baby Back Ribs song. It's something I just kind of expect from the general population of humanity. 

If you happen to be one of the strange, unfortunate few that has no idea what I'm talking about, watch the following.

Yeah, that's NSYNC. 

I'm not weird for expecting you to know this. References are made to it. For example:

Austin Powers

The Office

Scrubs

You get the idea. 

So you can imagine my shock when, awhile back, I went to Chili's, a friend of mine asked our server if he knew the Baby Back Ribs song, and he legitimately had no idea what we were talking about. He then called over another server, asked if she knew what we were talking about, and she was also ignorant as to the jingle of the restaurant she worked at. 

NOT OKAY. 

Chili's servers need to get their acts together.

Add some sass to your class,

Jenna

I Am Irrationally Irked at Birds

I don't usually take issue with these winged creatures, but last night changed that.

I spent the night at my best friend's house. Around two in the morning, we decided to go to sleep. It was at this time that I became acquainted with the birds that live outside her window.

These birds are not nocturnal. (I know this, because I saw them when we left for our hike this morning.) Yet for some reason, they were awake between the hours of 1:30-5:00 in the morning. Squawking. Incessantly. 

Roosters at least are annoying in a rational sense. They start making a ruckus around sunrise.

1:30-5:00 in the morning is not sunrise, just in case you were unsure.

In our sleepy stupor, we came up with a few possibilities as to what they could potentially be doing. Judging from the sound of the squawk, it could be any of the following.

1. Getting it on.

2. Spousal abuse.

3. Mad, crazy karaoke parties.

4. Nightmares about their failed attempts as solo vocal artists.

Let's just say I'm glad they don't live outside my window.

Add some sass to your class,

Jenna

I Am Irrationally Irked at the Fourth of July

To preface, I don't hate America. I'm grateful to be living here.

BUT.

The Fourth of July is one of my least favorite national holidays. Reasons why:

1. Traffic.

     I can never get where I would like.

2. Timing.

     The middle of summer. Meaning it's exceptionally hot. No.

3. Pollution.

     http://www.enn.com/pollution/article/42880

4. American Elitism.

     Have you been to every other country? If not, I shouldn't hear you saying that America is the greatest country in the world today. It may be, it may not, but the combination of hot dogs, Britney Spears, and your personal presence does not make that statement true. 

5. Reinforcement of American Stereotypes.

     Statements like:

        "Apple pie eating contests. There's nothing more American." 

        Translation: Overeating and competition: the two most American things I can think of.

        "I just bought so many fireworks that I'm going to blow a hole in the ozone layer tonight."

        Translation: Screw the environment! I get to blow things up and see bright, shiny lights!

        "No country could ever top America! We are number one!"

        Translation: I am completely ignorant as to the amount of money we currently owe China.

Which brings us to my personal favorite, number six.

6. Themed Clothing.

     Rivaled only by St. Patrick's Day, the Fourth of July is known for its ridiculous get ups. If you ever happen to wake up one Fourth of July and forget what day it is, your problem will be remedied the moment you step into a public area and experience something similar to this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Add some sass to your class,

Jenna

I Am Irrationally Irked at Arriving Early

 I hate arriving late only slightly more than I hate arriving early, so I try to plan how long it will take me to get to whatever shenanigan I'm headed to at exactly what time I say I will be there.

But sometimes I'm mistaken.

Sometimes the traffic I had planned to hit never materializes.

Or Pedestrian Peter decides to lay off for a day.

Or I realize too late that I need to return to the first grade, since I left my house before I had planned and apparently can no longer tell time.

Which leaves me in one of about four situations:

Situation One:

Sitting in the car. Waiting. Looking like a creeper.

Situation Two:

Sitting in the restaurant. Waiting. Looking alone and antisocial.

Situation Three:

Sitting on my friend's couch. Waiting. Looking like I want her to be ready to go now.

Situation Four:

Sitting in the classroom. Waiting. Looking like that kid. You know, the one that lives for nine A.M. classes.

Add some sass to your class,

Jenna

I Am Irrationally Irked at Other Pedestrians

You're late to a class/interview/date.

You're turning in a paper before a deadline. (The deadline being in approximately three minutes.)

You're oh-so-excited about the sundae you're going to order at Coldstone. (Coldstone being ten feet in front of your current location.)

You really just want to get back to your car in the parking lot so that you can get home.

Yet something is stopping you from remedying theses situations. Someone, to be more precise. This is the person I will heretofore refer to as Pedestrian Peter.

Reasons why Pedestrian Peter inspires my annoyance and occasional outrage:

1. Pace.

     It is slower than mine.

2. Location.

     Pedestrian Peter is always located directly in front of me when I walk.

3. Destination.

     Pedestrian Peter is always trying to go where I am going. Which means that really, there's no way to win. If I walk annoying close behind him until I get to my desired location, our feelings towards each other will be mutual. If I find a way to get around him and get to my destination before him, things get a tad awkward when Peter arrives.

4. Inability to Multitask.

     As slow as Pedestrian Peter is normally, amplify that by ten if he is trying to do anything else while he walks. Yes, that includes talking on the phone, texting, eating, drinking, whistling, singing, taking care of kids, and thinking.

5. Size.

     Rarely is Pedestrian Peter ever overweight. Yet somehow, Pedestrian Peter seems to take up the entire walk way. Peter, you're not morbidly obese, and you're not walking next to three other people, so stop taking up that amount of space. Not only is it annoying, it also prevents me from walking around you.

6. Disposition.

     Quite possibly the worst thing about Pedestrian Peter is that he really isn't a bad guy. He's not trying to be the fun sponge that makes you late or causes you to get your sundae that much later. He's usually pretty swell. Which makes you feel guilty for being irked with him. That guilt, in turn, makes you more upset with him for inspiring it. It's a vicious circle.

Add some sass to your class,

Jenna

I Am Irrationally Irked at People Who Make References to My Nonexistent Romantic Relationships

If you are currently single and are in any kind of family at all, you know what this is. If you're an extra special type of person like myself, you also hear this from friends, acquaintances, creepy strangers, and the like.
Allow me to illustrate.

The family member:

The creepy stranger:

You know how it is.

Add some sass to your class,

Jenna