I Am Irrationally Irked at Gravity

This post has been on my radar for awhile. And by awhile, I really mean birth. 
Being absurdly clumsy isn't exactly an acquired skill. 


If you're an avid reader of IAII (it's really too bad my blog doesn't have a catchier abbreviation), you'll remember me mentioning a previous inability to...well...to remain in the upright position while walking.


For those of you who saw me consistently last semester, you may remember that I sprained my foot. I was often asked what terrible incident caused such an injury. Well, you see, I was rock climbing. I lost my footing, and shazam! sprained foot. 


At least that's what I told some of you. 


Sometimes I forget how convincing I can be, because I was surprised at how many people actually believed this.  

Me: "So that's what happened. It's a little embarrassing."

Person: "OHMYGOSH. I didn't know you went rock climbing! That is NOT embarrassing. For once."

Me: "For once?"

Person: "Wait. Were you using ropes or were you free climbing?!?"

Me: "Oh...ropes. Definitely ropes. I'm not THAT insane."

Really.

What actually happened?

I slipped in the walk in refrigerator at work.

I know.

Now you're thinking, "Man Jenna! You are clumsy! But that was in November. Why are you writing this post in January?"

It's not exactly an isolated incident.

Take last week for example.

I was walking home from the library. It was raining. I was going up about three steps. On the second, I tripped. And not just a "Oh! That was a close one. Glad no one saw me be a bit uncoordinated!" 

No.

I was sprawled on the ground. And now wet, because I landed in a puddle. 

I sucked it up, brushed myself off, and continued on my way. It's not like I'm not used to that kind of thing. Honestly, I forgot about it completely until I went to work that night.

At work that night (and every night following):

I often restock the fridge with cream cheese. This involves getting on your knees and counting how many you need to grab from the back. 

KNEES. OH MY WORD THE KNEES.

I didn't realize that I had bruises on them the size of Texas.

Okay.

Slight exaggeration.

New Mexico.

But really.

Talk about being a hazard to yourself.

Add some sass to your class,

Jenna