I Am Irrationally Irked at Lionel Richie's "Hello"

Step one: Watch this. Yes, the whole thing.

 

If you just stopped it half way through despite my preface, go back and finish it. The ending is kind of important for my rant.

Ready now? 

Okay.

What, what, WHAT the heck. This is not okay on many levels.

To name a few:

1. Lionel is a CREEPER in this video. He might as well get his knees flexin' and his arms t-rexin'. 

2. Dating students is illegal.

3. "Tell me how to win your heart/For I haven't got a clue/But let me start by saying I love you." Lionel, I do believe you mixed up the order of things. The title of your song is "Hello." You should really try saying that, before telling the girl you love her. It would also be nice to do that before you start stalking her and calling her house. Just sayin'.

4. This is perhaps my most important point.

She.

Is.

Blind.

She will not be sculpting a massive clay version of your face.

No.

Add some sass to your class,

Jenna