I Am Irrationally Irked at Other Pedestrians

You're late to a class/interview/date.

You're turning in a paper before a deadline. (The deadline being in approximately three minutes.)

You're oh-so-excited about the sundae you're going to order at Coldstone. (Coldstone being ten feet in front of your current location.)

You really just want to get back to your car in the parking lot so that you can get home.

Yet something is stopping you from remedying theses situations. Someone, to be more precise. This is the person I will heretofore refer to as Pedestrian Peter.

Reasons why Pedestrian Peter inspires my annoyance and occasional outrage:

1. Pace.

     It is slower than mine.

2. Location.

     Pedestrian Peter is always located directly in front of me when I walk.

3. Destination.

     Pedestrian Peter is always trying to go where I am going. Which means that really, there's no way to win. If I walk annoying close behind him until I get to my desired location, our feelings towards each other will be mutual. If I find a way to get around him and get to my destination before him, things get a tad awkward when Peter arrives.

4. Inability to Multitask.

     As slow as Pedestrian Peter is normally, amplify that by ten if he is trying to do anything else while he walks. Yes, that includes talking on the phone, texting, eating, drinking, whistling, singing, taking care of kids, and thinking.

5. Size.

     Rarely is Pedestrian Peter ever overweight. Yet somehow, Pedestrian Peter seems to take up the entire walk way. Peter, you're not morbidly obese, and you're not walking next to three other people, so stop taking up that amount of space. Not only is it annoying, it also prevents me from walking around you.

6. Disposition.

     Quite possibly the worst thing about Pedestrian Peter is that he really isn't a bad guy. He's not trying to be the fun sponge that makes you late or causes you to get your sundae that much later. He's usually pretty swell. Which makes you feel guilty for being irked with him. That guilt, in turn, makes you more upset with him for inspiring it. It's a vicious circle.

Add some sass to your class,

Jenna